Frogging the tangled web

If you were told she "just stepped out" or that she quit to be a stay-at-home mom, then you were misinformed. That much I know for fact.

The end of November Joan Ditmore fired Bex Oliger from her own shop, the one she built up from scratch with several years of hard labor. That much is fact. That much is truth. So much of the rest floating around in my head is rumor or supposition, but that much I know because I heard it from each of them with my own two ears.

Last January or so I overheard Joan talk about buying out Carol Leigh's interest in Bex's shop to help Bex gain greater independence and greater autonomy in marketing decisions. Joan is a generous woman. A good woman.

When it looked like the purchase was going to go through, Joan commented to me about her concerns about Bex having a baby and how it might affect her work at the shop, but I assured her it would work out and believed that it would. After all, Bex is bright and industrious, and Joan is a good generous woman. Could there be a better combination?

In late November, Joan fired Bex. I don't know why, but Joan must have had a very good reason, because Joan is a good generous woman.

It was a shock, to be sure, because I'd heard them discuss partnership and planning for Bex to get a percentage of the shop starting in January. If only they hadn't had their terrible falling-out barely a month before the partnership was to be consummated, it might have ended very differently. I don't know what happened to break up these two wonderful women, but it must have been terrible indeed, because Bex is bright and industrious and Joan is a good generous woman.

It left Joan in a terrible position. A mere three days before the biggest sale of the year for her shop, Joan was divested of three out of four of her staff. Chrizzy, of course, was already scheduled time off for her birthing class, and without Bex and Rose that left only Joan to fend for herself. And though Joan is a good generous woman, it would be a bit much for any woman to bear.

It left Bex in a terrible position, with a newborn and two teenagers to provide for just before Christmas. But I'm sure Joan had very good reasons. She must have had no other possible options because she is a good generous woman.

Still, it troubles me that though Bex was fired more than three months ago, her name and reputation are still being used to advertise Joan's shop to an international market via Joan's website. Surely these two businesswomen have worked out some arrangement so that Joan may benefit from using Bex's good name and reputation to build her fledgling business. Perhaps Joan is compensating her financially for the use of her name? It must be something like that, mustn't it, if Joan is a good generous woman?

I find myself troubled by things I cannot fathom. I know Bex is bright and industrious, and Joan is a good generous woman. That much is true. I know that Bex did not quit, that she is not perpetually out-to-lunch, and that she did not decide to be a stay-at-home mom, because, after all, she has started a brand new business in record time and is putting in 11 hour days, six days a week, while still caring for her family. That's more of a working-her-ass off mom than a stay-at-home mom or someone with the life of Lovey Howell.

Why then is Joan telling people that Bex wanted to be a stay-at-home mom? What has anyone to gain by such subterfuge? A good generous woman surely wouldn't lie about something like that.

I suppose there are many things that are beyond the comprehension of someone such as myself and always shall be. I should stop burning grey cells trying to figure it out.

What I DO know is that if you are looking for Bex, I've found her. I built a new blog for her, and she can also be found at her new yarn shop, True Blue Fiber Friends, which is having an open house this Saturday at 1206 Business Loop 70 East (near the intersection with College Ave). For details, call Bex at 573-443-8233.